A Match Made on Earth

When Christians date outside the fold:

In an episode of "Seinfeld" that lays bare the characters' secular sensibilities, Elaine is shocked to learn that her on-again, off-again boyfriend, Puddy, is a believing Christian. "So is it a problem that I'm not really religious?" she asks him upon realizing their differing worldviews. "Not for me," he answers. "I'm not the one going to hell." Though Elaine herself acknowledges that she doesn't believe in an afterlife, she becomes increasingly angry with Puddy for not caring more about her eternal damnation. Finally, she explodes: "You should be trying to save me!"

Read the whole thing.

What sounds silly on Seinfeld is actually a very serious issue for many Christians. (See 2 Corinthians 6:14.) From the perspective of the economics of religion, the more value someone places on their faith, the more important it is for them to share that faith with their future spouse. This in turn means that being willing to date and marry outside one's faith in many religions is actually a signal that a person doesn't value their faith as much as they might claim.

One way to think about it is that a person indicates how much they value something based on what they're willing to give up to obtain it. (Hence Jesus' parable of the pearl of great value.) Christianity teaches that God should be the most important thing in the life of a believer. Anytime a Christian puts something else as a priority above their faith in God, it signals trouble for their faith.

Unfortunately, it is well documented that women tend to be much more religious than men on average. This creates a shortage of marriageable men:

For evangelicals who want to pair up with others of the same faith but don't manage to do so in their early 20s, trouble lies ahead, particularly for women. Evangelical churches now typically have a 60-40 split between women and men, which means that there are many more single evangelical women out there than their male counterparts. As Ms. Cockrel explains, "I have friends who wanted to marry a Christian guy, are still single, and are more and more open to dating non-Christians as they get older. They're tired of waiting."

This problem becomes more intense in places like Japan, where there the population is between 0.5% and 2% Christian and where the Christian women outnumber the men by a ratio of 3 or 4 to 1. It is similar to the shortage of black men for black women to marry.

I have several female Japanese friends who are committed Christians who face this very real dilemma. Their basic options are:

1. Don't get married.
2. Marry a foreigner.
3. Marry outside the faith. (Something they are unwilling to do.)

They are in a very tough situation indeed.

To many non-Christians, the Christian prohibition against dating outside the faith often seems narrow and exclusive. From the standpoint of marrying someone who shares your beliefs and values and will help raise your children to have the same, this is a very wise strategy. (Divorce rates are significantly lower for people who share a common faith.) The more a person values their faith, the more committed they will be to finding someone to share it with.

Here are some of my previous posts on the economics of religion:

• Rewards, Rationality, and the Future of a Religion
  
• Sacrifice and Stigma
• 9 Marks
• More on The Atheist Delusion
  More on Atheists in Academia
  
• The Atheist Delusion
• Why Aren't Professors Religious?
• Why They Left the Episcopal Church
• Reasons for Optimism
  
• What's Wrong With the Episcopals
• Hail CESR!
• Economics of Religion Conference
• Economics of Religion Podcast
• The Self-Defeat of 'Secular Christianity'?
• Religionomics!
• Liberal Christianity is Paying for its Sins?
• The Value of Religion