Tuesday, July 31, 2007

100 Things To Do If You Become An Evil Overlord

Some useful tips for being a successful evil overlord:

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

89. After I capture the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

Follow the link for many more. Who knows? These tips might come in handy someday...

(HT Joe Carter)

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